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 1.  Your mental health is the most important thing. Any issues, problem, fights, stress can be handled well when you have a healthy mind. Setting aside time to do things that centre yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself and the people around you. 

2. Nothing is the end of the world, other than the actual end of the world. 

3. Surround yourself with healthy people. People who push you to be the best possible version of yourself. People who motivate you to get out of bed for a workout or start a book club with you even if you fail to finish reading one book each month (you still started something). People who celebrate your little victories. People you send daily affirmations to every morning. Friends who make you feel like you are more than enough, even in moments when you feel like you are nothing. Friends who make plans with you to go for fun night out but also make time for wholesome/ healthy activities like going for walks/ to the farmers market/ a movie night / sleepover parties. People you enjoy being with when you are sober. Friends who call you out when you make a mistake, even if you do not want to hear it. Friends who do not enable you instead they encourage you to be a better person every single day of your life. Friends who know when to coddle you and when to criticise you. Friends whose energy is so infectious it is enough to put a smile on your face on your worst days. Friends who come into your life in your lowest moments that you start to believe in destiny and guardian angels. Friends who love you unconditionally that you never feel the need to chase romantic partners who are unable to give you the same thing. Friends who do not let distance affect your relationship (even 10,000km). Friends who teach you to love fearlessly, shamelessly, limitlessly. Friends who ground you yet make you feel so special you feel like you're flying. 

Surround yourself with people who make you wake up daily and think, fuck, I am the luckiest girl in world. I have everything I need right here, right now and I will always be okay as long as I surround myself with genuine people who let me be me.

4. When someone lies to you/cheats on you/disrespects you, it is not your fault. It does not define you, instead, it reflects the type of person they are. The way you react reflects the type of person you are. When you choose to react to that person with respect instead of anger/hatred or vengeance, you are displaying your own values and your upbringing. 

5. Protect your peace at all costs. Reflect on what is worth to you and do not let other minor things affect you. If they do, ask yourself is this worth my energy? Is it worth raising my vibrations to a negative level? 

6. Do not disturb other people's peace. Hurt people hurt people. But that is no excuse to lie or cheat , because once you hurt someone, they will move on and you will be left alone with yourself and your guilt. The guilt of lying or cheating on someone you love will destroy you more than it will the person you inflict it on. When you disturb someone else's peace, you will end up shattering your own.

7. Never stop appreciating the people around you. Every time you think of them and their impact on your life, remember to tell them, life is too short for pride or ego. 

8. Losing someone who disrespects you or is dishonest is not a loss, it is a gain. You gain yourself in the process. In the long run, you are doing yourself a favour. You are reclaiming yourself. You are choosing you (the person you will need to answer to for the rest of your life, until your last breath). You are setting your boundary. 

9. Never let go of your childhood hobbies, they will ground you and centre you. No matter how childish it may seem, let that inner child shine through you. For me its bowling, going to the arcade & swimming. These activities that kept me in balance when I was 10, continue to have the same effect in me at 22. 

10. Be kind to yourself. If you fail to have it all together, its okay. A good friend of mine reminds me every time I share with him an error I have made, he says "You're human". 


Dedicated to the some of the realest people I’ve met on this journey. 






Theres this feeling I get when I'm in another country alone. The first time I felt it was in December 2012 in Hong Kong. I just turned 14. My parents and I were in Hong Kong for a trip. They went to get massages and I stayed in the hotel room alone. I can't begin to describe how amazing I felt. Just that feeling of being alone in a foreign land. It felt perfect and I remember thinking this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. For the last 8 years, I have been chasing this feeling and going wherever it takes me. When I was 19, it happened to take me to Cuba, which happens to be 26 hours away from home.

 Looking back now, I'm so damn proud of myself for having the courage to wander so far away from home & to put myself out of my comfort zone. 

Cuba is more traditional due to the government there. Therefore, there is no internet. There are 'wifi stops' which look like bus stops to get wifi. You will need to get wifi cards in order to use the internet for a few minutes. This may be one of my favourite things about Cuba. I love that when I was there I was forced to disconnect from practically anyone. Imagine me a 19 year old Singaporean Indian girl in the middle of Cuba, unable to contact friends or family back home. To most this may sound like a nightmare but to me this was the most amazing experience I've had. 

It was a humbling experience and it reminded me that at the end of the day I am the only person that will be there for myself no matter what. I learnt this lesson early on growing up as an only child. I also learnt there that I am really freaking strong and capable of taking care of myself despite a lot people around me who have a pre conceived notion that I am unable to do so since I am an only child and they assumed I was spoilt rotten. 

I stayed in a hotel in central Havana for a few nights. I woke up to the sunrise. (the pictures above do not do it any justice) I tried smoking a Cuban cigar. (once in a lifetime opportunities to smoke a Cuban cigar in Cuba while watching the sunrise) I listened Lana Del Rey songs during my stay there. With the setting of the scenery & the people & the music, I felt like I was in one of her music videos. I felt so damn lucky to be there. I felt so proud of myself. I was raised being constantly protected - I was not allowed to cross roads even as a teenager as my parents were afraid that something would happen to me. But I looked at myself then and thought, I was in freaking Cuba. I didn't cross a road, I crossed oceans and continents. 

While staying at the first hotel, I went around central Cuba. I did a tour around Havana with the vintage car. Ask your hotels for driver recommendations. I lucked out as I got a pink car. My driver only spoke Spanish which was helpful for me as I had spent the last 6-8 months before my Cuba trip learning Spanish. I personally don't like being a 'tourist'. When I travel, I try to blend in with the place I go to in order to have a fuller experience. I tend to skip certain tourist spots to spend more time at little cafes that the locals go to. Usually when I travel, I have a notebook and pen with me so that I can always jot down my feelings. 

I wrote this in my notebook.*

15 Dec 2017
It's crazy that I'm in the middle of Havana right now. I'm enjoying this. Even though there are certain things I need to do/find - mainly a supermarket of some sort to buy water. Luckily I found my way to Old Havana. And it's a more touristy place so hopefully I'll be able to find the things I need as well. I'll be lying if I said I love being on my own. I do love travelling on my own and stuff but like always a small part of me just thinks how nice it'll be to have some sort of companionship with me for the fun of it. However, at the same time I feel like now is the time for me to discover myself and just be completely free and also build confidence and strength in myself. Travelling with someone wouldn't do that. Moreover I kinda have the rest of my life to travel with my friends/guys if I want to. I feel like travelling alone and doing the things I do- it can only be done when I'm young. I had this imagination in my head and started thinking of how cool it will be to travel to all the places I've already been to when I'm older. Imagine going back to Mykonos in my sixties and looking at the clubs thinking- that's the place I table danced at 40 years ago. 

I also kind of like being disconnected. 

*I did not edit the grammatical/ punctuation errors cause I like keeping it the way I wrote it 3 years ago 



When in Havana's town centre, I quickly figured out the roads and streets as google maps does not really work there. I went to the Havana Club to get some pictures but did not do a tour there. 

For my last 2 days in Havana, I went to Hotel Meliá Habana. This is the biggest hotel in Cuba, with the biggest swimming pool. It was a bit fancier than the one I stayed in before. This leg of my trip was mainly for my own relaxation purposes. After the year I had had, I wanted to spend a couple of days by the pool in the middle of Cuba. I spent almost 2 whole days by the pool  

 I'm incredibly grateful that I have the means to do trips like this. 



 

Drink: Sakura Royale (Mocktail/Cocktail)
Starter:Chicken Teriyaki
Dress: Boohoo Dress 
Dessert: White Chocolate Sphere 




After spending months indoors due to quarantine, my friends and I decided it was time to explore more of London and have a fuller experience here. We made a list of 'cute/instagram-worthy' restaurants/ activities here and as restrictions started easing on 4th of July, we have visited a few of the places on our list. One of the places we went to were The Ivy Asia. There are a few branches of The Ivy around London, however, The Ivy Asia at St Pauls stands out for its design & menu. 

When we walked into the restaurant, we were greeted by bright colours and unique pieces everywhere. The floor has a lily pod theme & there were cherry blossoms everywhere - a perfect photo opportunity. I chose the perfect handbag for the occasion as seen in the visuals, my Gucci Dionysus Blooms print mini chain bag fit the theme of the whole restaurant perfectly. I paired it with a simple silver dress from Boohoo. My Sakura Royale (mocktail) which had a lovely rose petal on it  added a little extra to my floral-themed photo. 

I ordered Chicken Teriyaki skewers as a main. For dessert, we shared a White Chocolate Sphere which has Passionfruit, Yuzu foam & Caramel Sauce. This was incredibly delicious. Checkout videos of this on @thebrunettedivision (a new instagram I created, specifically for this blog. I will be posting more regularly there than on my personal account)



Overall, whether its a fancy girls night out or a dinner date, I highly recommend The Ivy Asia. Personally, I would rather come here with the girls as they tend to be better at taking instagram-worhty pictures for me. It was fun to get dressed up together and pretend like we were grown ups for the night. 

 Book a table here



Instagram: @thebrunettedivision
 @Kaarthiga







 




Montreux (March 2020)
Every single city, town, island, country I've been to has had an impact on me in one way another.  But this trip to Switzerland, brought me back to life. Reminded me who I am. What I stand for. What I'm capable of. And how lucky I am to live this life. To be able to wake up and decide to fly to Switzerland for a mental break. 

I came across Montreux, Switzerland in a female solo travel group on facebook. It was recommended for those who needed to take time off for some relaxation. It seemed like the perfect place to go to after a break up. I've not been to Switzerland since 2013. Additionally, I've not been to a mountainous area since New Zealand (2016), therefore I underestimated the beauty of mountains & lakes. I was in awe when I got out of Geneva airport and saw the mountains. I forgot how breathtaking they were. They reminded me of the beauty the world had to offer and how when I was 18 I chose to dedicate my life to travel but somehow the last year or so, ever since moving to London, I've lost my direction. I lost touch with myself and what makes me, me. As I sat on the balcony with the view of the French alps, I reflected on everything  I've achieved and experienced in the last few years since I turned 18 (when I started actually 'living'). I realised that since my move to London, I dimmed my light. I made myself smaller as I did not want to scare the guys I dated. I felt I had to do that so that they will feel more like a man. But as I sat there, I realised its not my duty to make these guys feel like something they are not. *Loosely quoting crazy rich asians* I realised in my last relationship, I minimised my goals and dreams for him. He never asked me to but I felt the need to. I rejected my needs and wants for him - why does society train women to do this??

And this is why I love travelling alone - the self growth & reflections that happen are incredible. Sometimes one day in a different place gives you more than ten years of life at home. 


Lausanne
I spent a few hours in Lausanne with Morgan - an amazing friend I met on tinder in London. She is from Switzerland, she was travelling around the UK in 2019. She's one of those people that gets me really well as we had similar childhood experiences. So I can be almost completely myself with her and there's never any judgement. It was nice to see her face to face as I hadn't seen her since summer 2019 when she left London. It was nice seeing her and reflecting on how much we both have changed & how many different events that took place in the last year had caused so much growth in both of us. We hung out at a bar near the lake & enjoyed the views and scenery. 

Montreux
I spent most of my time in Montreux. That was where I was based. I stayed at Golf Hotel Rene Capt. I chose it because of the views it provided and mainly the balcony. I love a good balcony where I can chill for days and people watch and write. Montreux has good shopping and restaurants in its city centre. However, I spent most of my time in the room as I did not really want to be around people because of the way I was feeling. I did end up meeting some mates on couch surfers (an application for solo travellers to network). I took a walk along the path next to the lake. I walked and walked and ended up reaching another town. I stopped here and there to write. (Bits and pieces of it may be shared in my Break Up Diary Section)

Interlaken 
My first trip to Switzerland was in 2013 when I was 14 years old. I went to Zurich and Interlaken. I fell in love with Interlaken, I've never been to a place that quiet and calm. Ive always been used to the city. I told myself then that I wanted to come back there in my twenties and spend a week reading and writing. Even though I couldn't stay for long, I decided to go for a day trip to Interlaken. It was spontaneous and one of my best decisions yet. It took me 2.5 hours & 2-3 trains from Montreux to Interlaken. Once I got there, I saw people paragliding and It reminded me of a thought I had in 2013 during my first trip there, I told myself that the next time I came here I was going to go paragliding, So that's exactly what I did. I booked it then and there and within an hour I was in the sky above Interlaken. The whole town looked so small. All my problems looked insignificant. I felt okay. I love doing crazy adventurous things when I'm going through something. For some odd reason, it helps me put everything in perspective and reminds me what is important and what may seem important but isn't.   


 

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Kaarthiga M

Kaarthiga M

ABOUT AUTHOR

I'm Kaarthiga, student-blogger-traveller. Based in London.

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